I'm still alive. Don't worry. It's a new year and I'm getting rid of any junk that bogged me down in 2008.

My changes? 

I'm changing how I look at the world. No one is perfect, people make mistakes and things don't always go your way.

I will try to stop worrying over things I can not control. My health can be semi-controlled, but it's in the hands of specialists right now. My calcium is non-existant and my thyroid is ridiculously low. They were talking about dialysis, but I don't have to go that direction.

All I'm really doing this year is starting my jewelry business and going through school again. I'm learning how to build websites and take care of myself. I'm trying to be independant again while my health is improving. It's very difficult, but I think I can do it. I'm tired of relying on people, or having people I can't do certain things when I know I can.

My book is on hold right now while I take care of my health. I have no energy and no stamina. I've been bedridden for awhile and I've since gotten my abillity to move around again.

I want a normal body. Fuck all of you who say "normal is overrated"- normality exists. I have seen it. I want it.

It will be Vincent's anniversary soon. On the 15th exactly.

I'm surprised at the amount of response from people who I hardly knew. I'm shocked at close relatives and frends who can't even make the effort and here are people who live so far away and they can do it! 

I think the past five years have been both good and bad. I think I have been blessed with a great life and great support. For those nameless people who crapped out on me, good luck and Karma is a bitch- as one of my friends recently found out.  You curse me, you'll get cursed back.

I know that when people shit on me, they usually get it 10 fold. I noticed that this year. I guess that's what Louis meant when he said "Just wait for it".

I'm laughing now at their own misery. It was a long wait for justice but I finally have it.

Hurrah for 2009! 

I will be posting some jewelry on my journal later. Right now, I'm going to go play with my ferret. She needs my attention.

John...I really miss you. How are you in Japan? I hope you read this. I've emailed you, but my email has been trippy.

Love,
Apryl