WIRE IS YOUR FRIEND...DO NOT FORCE IT, OR IT WILL CUT U
EVEN SKINNY PEOPLE CAN SMELL BAD AFTER THEY FART! (CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, THEY ARE NOT IMMUNE)
AFTER ATTEMPTING TO CROTCHET A BRACELET, I REALIZE I HAVE A FAT WRIST...
I DISCOVERED THIS KICK-ASS ANIME CALLED ICHIGO MASHIMARO...IT BASICALLY MAKES FUN OF LIFE.
/end ALL caps\
That is all....
Love,
Apryl
- Mood:
creative
My changes?
I'm changing how I look at the world. No one is perfect, people make mistakes and things don't always go your way.
I will try to stop worrying over things I can not control. My health can be semi-controlled, but it's in the hands of specialists right now. My calcium is non-existant and my thyroid is ridiculously low. They were talking about dialysis, but I don't have to go that direction.
All I'm really doing this year is starting my jewelry business and going through school again. I'm learning how to build websites and take care of myself. I'm trying to be independant again while my health is improving. It's very difficult, but I think I can do it. I'm tired of relying on people, or having people I can't do certain things when I know I can.
My book is on hold right now while I take care of my health. I have no energy and no stamina. I've been bedridden for awhile and I've since gotten my abillity to move around again.
I want a normal body. Fuck all of you who say "normal is overrated"- normality exists. I have seen it. I want it.
It will be Vincent's anniversary soon. On the 15th exactly.
I'm surprised at the amount of response from people who I hardly knew. I'm shocked at close relatives and frends who can't even make the effort and here are people who live so far away and they can do it!
I think the past five years have been both good and bad. I think I have been blessed with a great life and great support. For those nameless people who crapped out on me, good luck and Karma is a bitch- as one of my friends recently found out. You curse me, you'll get cursed back.
I know that when people shit on me, they usually get it 10 fold. I noticed that this year. I guess that's what Louis meant when he said "Just wait for it".
I'm laughing now at their own misery. It was a long wait for justice but I finally have it.
Hurrah for 2009!
I will be posting some jewelry on my journal later. Right now, I'm going to go play with my ferret. She needs my attention.
John...I really miss you. How are you in Japan? I hope you read this. I've emailed you, but my email has been trippy.
Love,
Apryl
- Mood:
content
I'm sure I will get flamed.
I turned in all of my Stephenie Meyers books for $13 and 50 cents.
I got myself a $6 cheeseburger with it and considered it a great deal.
I also spent the rest on a used Tinkerbell game.
I get to fly....
Love,
Apryl
- Mood: creative
This video is dedicated to our celebration of hitting 50K or more!!! (My friend hit 1.8 million words. Not joking!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMyewX1aD
Love,
A_Solana
Apryl
Apeyness
And any other nickname you can think of...
- Mood: creative
Not totally complete....
BUT I DID GO PAST THE WORD COUNT!!!
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE 25TH!!!
I'm nearing the end of the book and it ends on Chapter 14. Decent size for a first book, I'd say!
I see a lot of editing in my near future...
Novel: Thread of Fate: Xanathi Chronicles
Genre: Fantasy
Genre: Fantasy
54,427 words so far 
Nowit's time to go watch something silly and eat cookie dough! LOVE YOU JOHN ADN JADE!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH! (You guys do NOT know how much this means to me! *hugs!!!)
My teeth should be black from all of the coffee intake. Omgz.
- Mood:
crazy
I am supposed to turn in a concise synopsis of my book after it's written and send in an edited manuscript.
Other news:
I opened up a business for one-of-a-kind jewelry. In other words, you pick the size of the necklace, bracelet, watch, and I will build it! It's fun and I like to make people smile from my work.
Bad news:
Our car broke down on the most busiest street in Great Falls (yes, John, we have them!) and I thought we were seriously going to die!
Luckily, a shop was open and told us that our transmission blew...how is that lucky, you ask?
AN EXCUSE TO BUY A NEW CAR BITCHES!!
We got a 2008 maroon Honda Civic with a 7 year warranty on it and free oil for life.
I never thought I would LOVE a car...but I freak if a bird so much as shits on it!
Anyway...
Just wanted to give a friendly shout out to my peeps (the car makes me feel black for some reason)
John
Jen
Jade
Ron
Helen
(Don't attack John just because he got on the top of the list >.> I will NOT have anarchy in my Journal XD!)
Louis might be getting promoted to Salesman (kinda like Sims?) and paid $500 a week instead $480 WHICH is why we can afford pretty things now.
Things are looking up!
Happy Halloween!!!
Love,
Apey
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:M.I.A
<3
http://pics.livejournal.com/sanity_denie
http://pics.livejournal.com/sanity_denie
Descriptions are included in the pictures. Sorry for the fuzzy pictures, but I took it at the last min with my cell phone lol
(406) 899-6721
I will be building a website for my jewelry soon. Hopefully, by Christmas.
Love,
Apryl
I will have my husband host a website with my homemade jewelry before Christmas hits us.
I want everyone to pick a design and tell me what they want for their Christmas present.
I will first see if I can actually mail out presents this year...don't want to get hopes up!
I am going to figure out my Thingamajig and make some nify designs with that.
I can make the following:
Fancy Rings
Bracelets
Necklaces
Wire wrapped pendants
Wire wrapped rings
I try to use semi pressure stones and I can take requests for certain wiring (copper, silver, gold) etc. I can also get wire in these colors (blue, purple, green) for crazy designs!
When I sell my stuff later, my wire wrapped willi be more expensive since it takes more time to complete the design. I not only have to construct it, but I have to come up with the design and do it in an alotted time frame.
I will show you some stuff later this week.
-Apryl
It will be promotional when I give these to you guys for free--I'd appreciate it if you spread the word! That is, if you like them.
That said, this week's topic is: Saying Goodbye.
Vincent
I held his body in my arms, I felt weak. I was shocked that he still felt warm. I looked into his beautiful blues eyes that were now lifeless. They had always reminded me of our Montana sky.
I watched the Doctor close them and felt a tinge of anger that I could no longer see his beautiful blue eyes. His skin was still the same: snow white and soft to the touch. Even though they had him wrapped up in a medical blanket, I was in such shock that I thought I had rocked him to sleep. I sang to him and hummed him his favorite melody.
During my madness, I thought that he was truly asleep. My denial lasted for weeks after his death.
I remember the man coming from the morgue to give his condolences to my family. I felt fear when I looked at the man in his commercial black suite. I didn't want him to have my baby, my Vincent. Vincent grew heavier with each passing minute and I realized that he really was gone. I passed him to my husband who only cried in anguish.
He then let my grandfather hold our son. It was the first time in my life that I had seen my grandfather cry.
I was too stunned to console him.
This had to be a dream. we had fought so long and hard.
I kept trying to wake up, remembering my past nightmares as a new mother. This felt too real to be a dream, but I kept doubting the reality in front of me.
This was a dream, right?
My legs began to shake and I no longer heard my family around me- or the consoling Doctor's reminding me to move so that I didn't faint.
He was gone and so were our eight months of happiness.
My son did not pass away in my arms...I had been too late to say Goodbye.
I had just gotten to the heart clinic when me and my husband were informed of his passing. I remember my husband screaming and me going into severe shock. They wanted me to see him one last time...but that image will never be the last. I still have eight happy months in my memory.
My husband was the one who carried his frail body out to the ambulance.
I remember sitting with the Doctor- the man had worked on his weak heart for the past eight months.
He held my hand and whispered comforting words. I only had strength to stare in perpetual shock.
I remember going home to an empty apartment, no longer comforted by his laughter or seing him play on his favorite swing.
The apartment was like purgatory and I was awaiting my finale sentence.
This goodbye was too much to bear. I could no longer cry, but instead I felt a constant sickness.
Months passed and we slowly healed. We decided to not have any more children: he was our first baby and precious son.
As a mother, I know that when I look at his smiling face and hold his first outfit from the hospital, that he will never really be "gone" from us.
He will still be in our hearts and in our home. His battle with heart problems had been long and tiring, but his life had brought happiness. His memory will always bring a smile onto our face and a feeling of warmth in our hearts.
My son, this is my time to say Goodbye, but I was the luckiest mother to of had you. A mother's love is never completely gone.
Love always and forever,
Mom
- Mood: creative
I have been taking a break from school and got back to writing, thanks to Helen! She gave me a great idea that I'm going to play with for my modernized version of the vampire chronicles.
I am getting a new Dell XPS laptop (please don't email me with "dell's suck" because my last Dell lasted for 3 years and I'm still using that one. My grandma is actually getting it when I get this one. )
Me and my husband have had nothing but issues with HP. I recently had to take mine back. I opted for a laptop as my main use for my medical transcription job.
here are the specs:
| Quantity | Item Number | Description | Unit Price |
 | |||
| 1 | 223-5880 | XPS M1530, Intel Core 2 Duo Processor T8300 (2.4GHz/800MHzFSB, 3M L2 Cache) | $1298.03 |
| 1 | 320-6758 | Flamingo Pink Color with Microsatin Finish | $0.00 |
| 1 | 311-7823 | 4GB, DDR2, 667MHz 2 Dimm, for XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 320-6690 | 15.4 inch Wide Screen WXGA TrueLife LCD with 2.0 MP Camera for XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 320-6082 | 256MB NVIDIA GeForce 8600M GT | $0.00 |
| 1 | 341-5865 | 320GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive for XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 310-9764 | DELL RESOURCE DVD,BACK-UP, XPSM1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-5769 | Internet Search and Portal | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-6436 | Vista, PC-Restore, Dim/Insp | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-8566 | Microsoft Windows Vista SP1 Home Premium Edition, English | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-7590 | Media Direct 3.5 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 463-2282 | Dell Owners Manual installed on your system,click on icon after system set-up to access | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-9100 | Dell Dock Consumer | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-7622 | DELL SUPPORT CENTER 2.0 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 410-1883 | ADOBE READER 9.0 MULTI- LANGUAGE | $0.00 |
| 1 | 313-5820 | 8X DVD+/-RW Slot Load Drive for XPSM1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-8183 | Roxio Creator DE 10 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 313-5014 | Integrated Sound Blaster Audigy | $0.00 |
| 1 | 430-2680 | Dell Wireless 1395 802.11g Mini Card | $0.00 |
| 1 | 410-1838 | McAfee Security 9.0, 2-Year Subscription | $0.00 |
| 1 | 312-0638 | 56 WHr 6-cell Lithium Ion P Primary Battery, for XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 412-0148 | No Internet Service Provider Requested | $0.00 |
| 1 | 412-1397 | No Productivity Software requested | $0.00 |
| 1 | 412-0359 | Soft Contracts - Qualxserve | $0.00 |
| 1 | 950-3339 | 3 Year Limited Warranty | $0.00 |
| 1 | 960-3652 | Warranty Support,2 Year Extended | $0.00 |
| 1 | 960-8710 | Warranty Support,Initial Year | $0.00 |
| 1 | 988-5618 | Dell Hardware Warranty PlusOnsite Service, Extended Year(s) | $0.00 |
| 1 | 983-5942 | Type 15- Third Party At HomeService with Nights and Weekends, 24x7 Technical Support,2 Year Extended | $0.00 |
| 1 | 988-5617 | Dell Hardware Warranty PlusOnsite Service, Initial Year | $0.00 |
| 1 | 984-2360 | Type 15- Third Party At Home Service with Nights and Week ends, 24x7 Technical Support, Initial Year | $0.00 |
| 1 | 412-0358 | Soft Contracts - Consumer Complete Care | $0.00 |
| 1 | 991-1159 | Bund. LoJack Theft Recovery - 3 Year DHS | $19.75 |
| 1 | 420-8653 | LoJack Theft Recovery Softwarefor Laptops, 3 Year | $0.00 |
| 1 | 980-5877 | CompleteCare Accidental DamageProtection, Inspiron, 3 Year | $0.00 |
| 1 | 988-0099 | To activate your online backupaccount, go to Start, Programs, DataSafe Online | $0.00 |
| 1 | 988-7707 | 2GB DATASAFE ONLINE 1.1 FOR SDO/DIM/INS/XPS | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-9518 | DATASAFE ONLINE 1.1 2GB FOR DIM/INS/XPS | $0.00 |
| 1 | 330-0171 | S and P Drop-in-Box Marcom forDHS Notebooks | $0.00 |
| 1 | 467-2337 | Finger Print Reader XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 467-5481 | DELL WRLS 5720 EVDO, Verizon Dell Wireless 5720 EVDO Mini Card for Verizon | $93.72 |
| 1 | 430-2566 | Dell Wirless 355 Bluetooth Module (2.0+EDR) | $12.50 |
| 1 | 320-6784 | 15.4 inch PINK Wide Screen Screen WXGA TrueLife LCD with 2.0 MP Camera for XPS M1530 | $0.00 |
| 1 | 420-7715 | Camera Software XPS M1530 2.0MP | $0.00 |
| 1 | 310-8319 | Intel Core 2 Duo Processor | $0.00 |
| 1 | 310-8628 | You have chosen a Windows Vista Premium System | $0.00 |
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||
yes, I choose pink. So shoot me. I'm a girl, after all .They didn't have any good color choices. I sure as hell wasn't getting "ice blue".
If they had had green I would've gotten that. Oh well. I looked on YouTube. Pink isn't that bad. They were sold out of black and white -_-;
I hope to hear from Jen and Helen. I haven't talked to Jen for a couple of weeks. I just managed to talk to Helen yesterday. Managed to get off my lazy ass and download AIM again lol I hate my s/n.
Talk to you guys later...hope you can view the specs.
Love,
Apryl
- Mood:
grateful
I have decided to stay with my old story, to. When I get my computer back from repairs, I will be sending stuff to Helen.
Since I have been on Slim-Fast, I have lost 10 pounds. Some people can't even lose 5 when they exercise and starve themselves. I guess it's working for me. Even though people consider it a "fad" diet. Aren't all diets fad diets? They all make you buy something or pariticipate in a "program" that costs money.
My Doctor basically said I need to lose at least 50 pounds by next year.
I am a fatass. I admit it myself. I gorged on fatty foods that kept me sane when the shit went down in Salt Lake City. Plus, they had a coke machine in the McDonald house that gave you 25 cent sodas. We haven't seen that shit since the 80's, my friend!
Anyway....
My highest weight was 249 (yes, 249!) I weighed as much as a professional football player (without the muscles)
I am now 234. It keeps going down, too. I weighed in today at 232. SO I hope it'll be below 230 this morning. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Louis SWEARS that I don't look fat and I really don't. It's just weight...all over? I can't really explain it. I don't even have a double-chin (you'd think I would?).
I got a 76% on my MIcrosoft Word. I feel stupid for that. I use it everyday...shouldn't I know the terms by heart? Oh well. Better luck next time.
- Mood:
contemplative
I have also stopped writing for awhile because of being sick. I also started school as a medical transcriptionist. The classes are going very well. I was intimidated at first, but I think I can handle it. I have A's and B's currently.
Not much else is going on. Just waiting to get better so I feel up to writing. I don't think I will make NaNo though. I might opt for writing in the 150K word contest instead.
Love,
Apey
I've been sick (again) with the Flu. Just the common 24 hour stuff, but it's wiping me out today. I woke up at 2 pm today and thought the clock said 9 a.m. Go figure.
Anyway, I have to go back to looking over my notes for my story. I'm using the newest version. People seem to like reading that, but I'd like to get Helen's opinion on it too.
BTW- I got your notes Helen. I'm not ignoring you! I just logged on today Lol I gotta get back into the loop of my daily activities again.
Love,
Apey
- Mood:
awake
The Doctor called to say that I was very low on Calcium, which explains the hair loss, bad skin and moodiness.
She advised against being a vegetarian and said that the cyst on my ovaries was the cause for my bad digestion. I guess that makes sense. So far, I have only had achiness on my right side- no real pain - yet. She said that will probably chance by the end of the month when it is "going away".
Other news:
We got a ferret! We named her Luna, because she's pure white like the full moon. Emo, I know. I might even post a picture of her. The family is just crazy about her. We spoiled her by getting her a 2 tier cage complete with a slide- yes - I said slide!
(I told you she was spoiled)
She's albino with the pink eyes and feet and sweet attitude. She has the run of the apartment and is smart enough to use the litter box already. She's only four months old and I don't regret getting her one bit. She gets me up in the morning. I never thought I'd be getting up in the morning for a pet, but this is me you're talking about.
So...something creepy happened today while I was out shopping.
I was bent over (get those thoughts out!) and I was looking at a vampire book. Suddenly, I noticed blood spots forming on the front of the cover. Then the floor started to get covered in spots of blood. I felt my face and realized I had a severe bloody nose. Scared the hell out of me. I thought maybe vampires were calling out to me or something. I have a dumb imagination.
I've been working on my 70 druid and I have almost all epics on her. In the past week I have collected over 150 AV/AB/WSG marks and over 60K honor in just ONE week. I don't care who you are- that's a lot! Especially for someone who just started doing it from respeccing from Feral Druid.
I'm still writing. I have two versions of my story that I'm having problems with. Some people like the newer one better. Some hardcore nerds like the older version. I just can't make up my mind which one would be best to write. It's insane to write both of them. I'd get everything mixed up.
Helen, if you're reading this, I'd REALLY love your opinion on this. I could send you a short synopses or something?
Also, tell me how your freelance went? I'm curious!
Love,
Apryl
- Mood:
cheerful
If you could be any creature, any mobile life form at all, which would it be and why? Submitted By |
- Mood: creative
- Undeleted my journal-too many memories to trash!
- Louis found a job that pays $1900 a month + health benefits and 401K plan
- I became a vegetarian
- Wrote 30K words in my book for NaNo!
- Lost 14 pounds
- Dyed my hair dark brown
Good things are slowly starting to happen.
I still have the last letter he wrote and the wedding card of congratulations that he had attempted to send...
I never got to meet my father, but I have great respect for him. He came to know his sins and attempted to make amends without rehashing the past. It is neither of our faults that we didn't meet one another. I no longer blame him for leaving. He shouldn't of left me when I was in the hospital having heart surgery, but that can not be helped now that he is gone. Blaming him and wasting time fighting is no way to spend his last moments on this Earth.
I tried to make his last moments as content as possible. I talked to him and consoled him the best way a daughter could: through encouragement and hope. Even if the hope was false, I still had a false hope myself that I would meet him one day and know the man I called: Father.
My father basically smoked himself to death and that is why I am against smoking altogether.
He lost a lung and was basically bedridden on his deathbed until the day he died. He suffered immense pain that basically disabled him completely. He had to quit the job he loved and rely on others to do basic things in life.
He was a security officer and sent me his badge and other personal belongings like his pocket watch before he passed on. He claimed that I was his greatest achievement and that he was sorry he never got to meet me or become Vincent's grandfather. Perhaps they are together in Heaven. I can only hope that he is comforting my baby right now and being the grandfather he never got to be.
He was a grandfather for a week before he died. I was in Salt Lake City when I called to let him know about Vincent. He cried when he heard about the news of his heart condition. He was the only person who really understood the seriousness of it. (My mother choose to ignore Vincent's heart condition due to childish hope that he was a normal baby.)
I told him I would call him back as soon as we learned more...the next day he died. I still feel guilty to this day that I never got to call him. It was not easy keeping in touch with people then. You were not allowed to carry cell phones in the PICU or even call them in the waiting room. It was a serious time and I regret not calling him when I had the chance. You think that someone will always be around and then the next minute they are gone.
Because I was a high risk pregnancy, I did not have the option of simply going out and flying to Florida to see him. He did not want to risk my pregnancy and hurt VIncent because of his desire to meet me. It had been 24 years and I believe he could've met me, had he had the desire to. He certainly had the means.
I regret not meeting him, but I never did have the money to do the traveling. The SLC funding came from the Angel Network at the hospital in Great Falls. That is the only way we even survived in SLC. Also, we had funding from The McDonald House--a wonderful charity. I am not a person who preaches her belief's on anyone else, but I sincerely hope he is up there with my sweet baby boy and that they are both at peace. They both suffered through so much just to be loved by someone.
I only have a few pictures of my father and they are old and not current. His brother has tried to contact me, but I have not heard from him since the last hurricane. I hope everything is alright. They are my last connection to my father.
I sometimes wonder, if I had facial features of my father, or if Vincent carried any of his traits?
I will never know...
- Mood: contemplative
I lost my father to lung cancer. He smoked everyday of his life. So I'm sorry if I got a little concerned for her when I found out she was smoking and having so much pain.
I just want light-hearted conversations about our current hobbies or what we've been doing that day. If anyone mentions a family problem, I think I will just point out idiotic response from Kim's mother.
REAL NEWS:
Louis might be getting a job this coming week! The post office called and wanted him in for an Interview at 2 pm today so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Wish us luck! Right now, we are getting help from Opportunities Inc in Great Falls, Montana. They help with emergency rent and I explained it would ONLY be for the Month of June.
I have done everything on my own. I never thought I would have to beg for help. I am not saying it is bad, but a person does feel embarrassed when they realize they need emergency funding. (We needed funding when Vincent got sick and they tried to charge us for over $700,000 because Medicaid lost our papers. Then they denied losing anything, even though my copy was dated and stamped by THE SUPERVISOR Lol.)
I will be writing IRL free-verse poetry with encouragement from Jade and my professor Frederick Bridger. It will let me vent my rage and be at peace with my issues. I may or may not post it. I may post only poem's about Vincent.
I miss talking to real people like Jen. I will continue to defend my right on the insanity that just happened.
People only make your life miserable when you are trying to make amends or pan it out.
People tell me that I live above my means.
My husband needs the internet for his free-lance web design work or we won't get a cent in. How does cutting the internet out make sense? You can't save money, if you don't bring it in and that is your source of income! Stupid ignorant women!
Louis said that I was stupid for even listening to their tripe. He said that her mother took everything out of proportion and took it to an unnecessary level. With our stress, she should have known better. He said that he will never forgive Kim for what she said to me first: I would have children if it would make your life just as miserable--if I could afford it. Exact words. In defense, I get berated again!
I am not the nutty one. I am here today with proof from their postings that I am not the only one seeing their craziness.
Jade said that I shouldn't of put out so much spent energy on stupid people. These are people that Kim used to know and trust. Jen finally stopped reading her Journal when it became nothing but drama.
Kim never did ask how any of us were, did she? Nope. I am living proof. We all are. I hope we can move on and learn to avoid ingenuous people like them in the future. It would avoid us a lot of stress.
I think I am on this Journal for contact reasons only. I don't try to cause trouble and I certainly don't wake up in the morning thinking I will "get vengeance" on anyone. If people think I have enough time to plan that out, then they are very, very stupid and immature.
This is my Journal .So if you don't like what you see or hear. Don't read it! I guess that rule applies to me too.
I miss Jade and Jen and John-John.
They were the sanest out of the bunch of people I talked to.
Everyone is having problem's, but some take it to the extreme.
I will have pictures of Vincent's stone up for those who can stand to view it. If not, I won't be upset. I know it is upsetting: I am his Mother. I will continue to defend him until the day I die. (Which may be soon with my health problem's anyway)
Love,
Apryl
- Mood:
amused
Why do the lucky ones only complain and bemoan their fortune? They literally asked for the pregnancies and begged the world to KNOW they were pregnant. Isn't one healthy child enough? I would give anything to have my child back and he was all I needed to be complete and happy. If your first child didn't make you happy, then how can you call yourself a mother? How can you watch your second child die and precariously replace him with another and not think twice about the consequences?
SHAME ON THESE SELFISH WOMEN! I will be burying our son in a month and I will not even get the chance to consider another pregnancy or adoption. Be happy you have at least one healthy child you will get to raise and the ability to watch them grow into an adult! Why do you need more to satisfy YOUR need? You never think of the child or their happiness. I only see "My, me, I" in the sentences!
If it is a girl, you are actually DISAPPOINTED it wasn't a boy....never mind that they are completely healthy. For this, I do blame your ignorance. Furthermore, you were not just happy with ONE healthy child whom you could HOLD and LOVE and PLAY with. You had to have more to satisfy some greed or personal standard.
I don't even see husbands (the men who HELPED create YOUR burden) being mentioned. If I do, they are immediately the "bad guys" or the ones making your lives miserable. We never do think of them though, do we? I never knew how much Louis was suffering until he broke down and told me! Why do we have to run them into the ground for THEIR emotions? They CAN NOT read our minds!
.....I am tired of this hell. I'm done with the Drama. The women CHOOSE to get pregnant.
I don't want to hear about Tera's new baby or about Taryn's "burden". I can't believe Tera replaced A.J. within 8 months of him being gone. I can't believe they saw him die and felt compelled to have another child without grieving. Taryn is a new friend
I don't want to hear about how "exhausted" women are, because that is WHAT IS TO BE EXPECTED. I don't think I complained as much about cramps or bitched and moaned about the baby's sex! I JUST WANTED A HEALTHY BABY!
YOU ALL HAVE HEALTHY CHILDREN. BE GRATEFUL. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PICK OUT A GRAVE SITE OR ASK A RELATIVE TO MAKE A HEADSTONE!
For their selfishness I am angry. If they take offense, I don't think I honestly care anymore. It's their family who will ultimately suffer...not me. All of this bitching has hit me to the core, but I will deal with it like I deal with everything else and TRY to move on.
I have NEVER been so disappointed in people before. I know people have their rights, but if you choose to do something BE RESPONSIBLE for it! It's a LIVING, BREATHING, LOVING person and it deserves caring parents. These children are not things you just plop out and decide if you love it or hate it. A person should just unconditionally WANT their child regardless of who they will ultimately be....but I know there are some effed up women out there. Some women just see their children as Sex Trophies or a Personal Prize for them to tweak.
I am and I'm not sorry that this will piss anyone off. I have just seen and heard too much shocking things this week.
Goodbye .
- Mood:
aggravated
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